Our American selves

I doodled this on 04/07/07 and wrote the following: "Planning my outdoor excursions feels not unlike a bank robber, meditating on his next heist. I am putting together the gear and the expertise and anticipating the right moment to pull off my next caper. Truth be told, aside from a canoe I really have all the gear that I need. My planned purchases are primarily creature comforts. To make life more convenient in some cases, and more fun in others. On this spring day the nip of winter is still in the air, to serve as a reminder that into our lives a little snow must fall. But the trees are biding their time like petulant teenagers, waiting for their drivers licenses. Their buds are like a billion little pimples, all of which will erupt in one giant pubescent explosion in about two more weeks. That's when every living thing under the sun (& under the waves) will become obsessed with reproduction, not unlike our American selves. When it comes to birds, fish, wolves and deer, I confess to being a romantic. I want to see the guy get the girl."

It was inspired by the artwork found in my copy of Reflections from the North Country.

Never get out of the boat

"Never get out of the boat. Absolutely right. Unless you were goin' all the way.
Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole program. "
- Willard, Apocalypse Now

Another story about roaming the woods as a kid
(Briefer version originally entered as a comment in the previous post)

Near a place where we fished there was an abandoned resort, hosting a large cache of wild asparagus. In the heat of the day (When walleye fishing can get slow) my brother in law would beach our boat in the old harbor and we would go ashore. I was allowed to wander around while he harvested.

The entire place was blanketed under huge maples - even in broad daylight the place had a shady and sinister feel to it. As we entered the harbor I felt as though I could feel eyes upon me. The moment that I swung my leg over the side of the boat and set foot on that ground I had the uneasy feeling that comes with knowingly trespassing, the sensation that any second some pissed off landowner's hell hound was going to come charging out from the trees and maul me before I could retreat.

I remember rummaging through the junk that was strewn around, and peering in through the dirty windows of the cabins. The place had not been used for some time, maybe 20 years. I imagined the people who had stayed there, wondered where the former owners were now and why the resort had closed. Had there been a tragedy, or a terrible crime? My 10-year old mind had a flair for the dramatic and did not process concepts such as economic viability or bankruptcy. Death and or dismemberment seemed quite likely to me. In my mind's eye I could see the bleached bones of fishermen and 10 year old boys beneath the floorboards of those cabins.

It was the height of dog days and there was no relief from the heat, even in the shade. It only served to encourage the mosquitos, who bit fiercely, even in the middle of the day. I don't know if it was all the bloodletting or just the creepy feeling I got from trespassing in that place, but I was relieved when we retreated to the boat and departed for the evening bite.

We made three incursions that summer. Each time afterward our dinner consisted of fresh Walleye, baked potatoes and asparagus from that haunted place. At night I would go out into the dark woods near our cabin to relieve myself under the stars. Like Juvenal Urbino in the book Love in the Time of Cholera, I enjoyed the immediate pleasure of smelling a secret garden in my urine that had been purified by lukewarm asparagus. To this day the smell associated with asparagus will take me back to those woods where I felt my hair biting into my sunburned neck as I stood with my face pointed to heaven, gazing at the milky way and wondering where we all end up when we dump our junk and shutter up our cabins for good.

Stings of Vengeance

The dharma bum's dog had a run-in with some ground hornets recently and it reminded me of a childhood experience of my own where I learned first hand the woes of provoking those vicious little critters.

When I was a kid my family had a cabin on Leech lake in northern MN and I spent many family vacations there. I spent countless hours exploring the woods in the vacant lots nearby - Back in a time when there were still vacant lots on the shorelines of lakes. One particular year I discovered an abandoned cedar strip boat near the shore. I made this discovery in the spring in mid-may. After a brief period of jubilation, thinking that I could possibly resurrect this craft for my own use, a more thorough investigation revealed that years of unprotected weathering and rot had consumed through portions of the hull. So my dreams of being the youngest boat owner on the lake were dashed, leaving me just a young boy in the woods once more. But I did find solace in hitting and poking around the deteriorated portions of the hull with a stick, knocking out the rotten portions with the relish of an overzealous dentist, working like a madman to save a 12-foot long tooth.

Fast forward to our family vacation in July of that same year. Somewhere toward the middle of the week I found myself again wandering the woods. Once more I happened across the abandoned boat. I resumed my game, discovering that a majority of the truly rotten material had been knocked loose in my previous game that spring. To continue the game would require a more aggressive use of force. I found a stick about the size and weight of a hockey stick; Swinging it back over my shoulders in an extreme lumberjack cut, I brought it down soundly on the keel.

The resulting sound was not unlike a stock car going around the far corner of a racetrack. Hornets began pouring out of every nook, cranny and crevice of the boat. I cried out and bolted through the woods. In retrospect the smarter move would have been to dive into the lake and follow the shoreline back to our property. I think I read in the Art of War that an army thrown into chaos will almost always choose to retreat in the same direction that it came from. I was in much chaos. I flew through the woods, a few stings landing here and there on my back and arms as I ran. The inevitable came when I tripped over the tongue of a boat trailer concealed in the underbrush, allowing the main pursuit group to catch up with me. They attacked me as mercilessly as I had attacked their home.

Fortunately for me my reaction was mild, considering the number of stings to my scalp, face, neck, back and arms (Either my jeans kept them from getting to my legs or they didn't bother with them, as they had unrestricted access to my head). I do not recall how many times in all I was stung. I did learn from the experience though, and I am now cautious around rotten wood or infrequently used structures encountered in the forest.

Oh yeah, and I also learned to have an escape route planned a priori to ever hitting anything with a stick.

Down the Drain?

I woke up this morning to a mostly empty nest:

There's still a couple of eggs in the nest which could be either late bloomers or duds. When I looked down the street I saw the mother marching down the sidewalk with a bunch of little fuzzballs in pursuit. I did not get a picture of that but did take my camera along when we left the house to go to work. We circled around the block and discoverd the mother wandering around in the street. When I got out of the car with my camera she started quacking at me and tried to lead me away from some tall grass.

Even the drake showed up and got in on the act:

It turned out that it wasn't the tall grass that the hen was trying to draw me away from after all. To my shock I could hear the duckling's voices, coming from this storm drain:

That storm drain leads to an outlet into a nearby lake (Maybe a 30-50 yard run). To my thinking that hen is either a genius or a fool. Whatever happens to those ducklings, I'm pretty sure that a predator won't get them. The thing is that there's no way that the ducklings can get out the way that they went in, and I'm not so sure that the hen can get to them, either. Regardless of whether this is a brilliant environmental adaptation or yet another mallard mishap that I have been in some way involved in, what I am certain of is that this is not how God intended for ducks to come into the world.

Anybody out there ever hear of ducks using a storm drain like this to raise their young, or are these guys pretty much screwed?

Out & About

The Mallard was AWOL for a while last night:

It turns out she was just playing in traffic:

So I went along the side of the house to look at my flowers:

While I was gone the mallard came back:

Here is another video
(Listen for her huffing and puffing toward the end):

Close Encounters

That Mallard is still nesting in our planter. I've been afraid to mow our lawn lest I should upset her or somehow usurp nature's balance with an internal combustion engine. Our house was starting to look like one of those garbage houses that you hear about on the news, where the water has been shut off for the past 6 months and the people inside have been pooping into garbage bags.

I couldn't stand it yesterday so I finally mowed the lawn. Much to my amazement the girl was as cool as a cucumber and allowed me to do my thing. I got about my business as fast as I could and now we are no longer an aesthetic blight on suburbia. Except of course that we still cannot plant anything in our planter, because there's a duck already planted there. Squatters, I tell ya!

Here are some pictures I took this morning.
I'm not bashful anymore.
I just opened the front door and leaned out and took these.

I shot a video too: